Chapter 1 — Isekai’d Shoggoth

Well, now… That. Is a situation.

Thankfully, I am alone, so I may afford to sort out my thoughts and prepare a plan of action. So… salient points.

Primo. This is isekai. I remember my previous life, so to speak, with crystal clarity. Up to and including a very abrupt death to a random drunkard side-swiping me with his car right into the curb head-first. Owie.

Secundo. This is otome isekai, with me taking the part of the villainess. A game I remember vaguely well. All the classic points being hit – a plucky commoner protagonist, seven

Secundo insuper – magic! Real, accessible, and by all accounts

Tertio. I’m not, in any way, shape or form inclined to actually play the role of the villainess. If memory serves correct, Alyssa Gillespie

In the event of Protagonist going for the prince’s best friend instead, Alyssa is supposed to be lusting after the same friend and gets forcibly indicted into the convent when things come out. Because prince breaking the engagement is one thing and prince’s potential fiancee being found out “cheating” is quite another. Other storylines vary, but the outcomes are… less than desired. Murdered in both secret routes

Realistically speaking, the cases where both prince and Protagonist marry up into neighboring kingdom is preferable version, Alyssa

Finally, quatro. Most jarring and… original part of it, let’s say. Gillespies and Bradfords are actually closely related and intermarry at least once per two generations. And this had left both families significantly inbred. Not enough to court a hereditary disease like hemophilia or create a stable deformity inherent to the bloodline just yet, but… close enough to cause a number of fertility issues. I’m actually the fourth daughter, in spite of being firstborn. My three potential elder sisters were all stillborn. Thankfully, the problem seems to be tied to X chromosome on Father’s side, so I do have two little brothers. But therein lies another problem. Alyssa Gillespie was not conceived. Instead, Elene and Gerard had hired an infamous “Blood Wizard”

So, yeah, actually I’m a stupidly overpowered shoggoth who had evolved into full sentience, grasped magic and can flawlessly shapeshift. My little brothers, thankfully, are entirely ordinary boys. But, back to our muttons – my shoggothdom means I really have no particular interest in marriage, let alone have a fixation on Edward that game version of Alyssa seemed to have.

Next. Time. What time do I have at my disposal? The setting is a Magic Academy. Which is a location I’m curious about, because ikebana-based magic means they have greenhouses with flower variety. If memories serve right, a number of spices are not known here as spices, but are available as flowers and herbs. If this works out, I might get some money going on, and money is a sort of convenient power for me. It is effectively faceless, unlike the favors trading system the nobles seem to have going on. It is early summer, however. I am yet to be entering the Academy. I am already enrolled, of course, the enrollment is an automatic process for anyone from the noble family. Really, the enrollment is for everyone having demonstrable magic… Which, ostensibly, is every last person out there, but in practice only expressly gifted commoners are being offered enrollment, while in case of nobles, it is assumed their talents will not lose to commoner. Which, well, is the reason why commoners entering the school tend to be stupidly overpowered in comparison to your average noble attending. Inconvenient, but maybe useful.

More on topic, it is half to six in the morning, and I’m lounging in bed. It’s not time get up yet, and won’t be for a good while. Meaning I can afford to plan and remember things without having to scramble for explanations to parents or servants. Good.

Right. Might as well take a look around. Slithering out of bed in five, four… Heh, just kidding. Already up. Well, that’s really convenient I can, in a pinch, just shapeshift a “dress” on me. But for now, let’s not. The last thing I want is servants trying to undress me when I’m technically naked…. Wait. WAIT. Where the fuck are all the dresses? Why this dresser has only underwear inside? Good grief, there are no good elastics yet. Meaning everything is held on ties. Joy everlasting. Because I just KNOW I will sprout a bunch of tentacles to tie something up in the least convenient moment ever. Gotta work on that. Maybe internal velcro-like surfaces to.. Ah, yeah, that works. Gotta be careful with this, but fuck wardrobe malfunctions. I refuse to permit such base cliche. Hear me, universe? Such templates are forbidden.

So. Dresses. Apparently, there is a dedicated wardrobe room across the hall from my bedroom. I know I’m supposed to call servants, but… Actually, aside from being up way too early, why not? Let’s not cause too much of a jarring departure from standard MO just yet, shall we? Pulling on the bell string produces tingling somewhere down the hall. Here’s hoping they are in the habit of waking up early to do morning chores. It’d be awkward to see a servant obviously roused from bed otherwise. Actually, come to think of it, do I know anything about maids?… Hm, yes. The old one is Marie, and she’s… apparently used to be dad’s wet-nurse. Heh. And my wet-nurse. Weird. But whatever. I’d be worried if she were also mom’s wet-nurse, but that is not a thing. Because little me asked. Parents were mondo bemused by my theory of universal wet-nurses.

Other three are, hm… Sally, Louise and Bridgit and they are effectively interchangeable other than Bridgit having a kraut accent. And no, that’s not a slur. Apparently, the neighboring kingdom is literally Kraut Kingdom, and that’s the place she was born and raised in. I seem to vaguely remember she has a tragic backstory explaining how she ended up a maid at Gillespie Estates. Something about her father being a successful merchant getting murdered by ostensibly highway bandits, but not really. One of the game sub-plots was to collect info on Baumhoffs and use it to blackmail Bridgit into spying on Alyssa. Which, depending on how you go at it, had far-reaching consequences. Because if you as Protagonist lie to Bridgit about Gillespies being responsible for Christoff Baumhoff’s demise, she would stab Elena and make Alyssa go nuts and almost nuke magical academy with uncontrollable magic. That gets Alyssa an exile to Gillespie estates without right to leave, Protagonist gets dumped by Hiram Hohenzollern

So, avoiding THAT is going to be a priority. Because if Protagonist gets to Bridgit and lies about Gillespies being involved, the end outcome will be an invasion by krauts, which will end with Cullens “voluntarily abdicating” and getting confined to an island exile as a family unit, Protagonist becoming a very twisted bitch in a very twisted relationship with twisted bastard Klaus and Hiram

Hm, now the other option? If Protagonist tells Bridgit the truth, that her father was murdered because he was getting a little TOO successful for the tastes of his peers, Bridgit goes to Girard, admits to spying on Alyssa and asks to be relieved of duties out of guilt. And then she drops out of picture and Alyssa