Sophia Martin
Stories
11
Chapters
7,174
Words
1.1 M
Comments
0
Reading
3 d, 21 h
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“We should probably leave,” said Joshaya. “Come back later.” He wasn’t keen on the whole raise a huge army of dead people at the unreasonable price of his well-being. I considered it a bargain. “Who is it?” I said. We were very high up and the army below us were specks. Lots and lots of specks. They had probably already seen us but I didn’t want to go lower in case they had some kind of equipment that could target us. “Dudley, have a look.” Dudley was leaning over the side of the…-
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My proclamation was met with silence, not because raising an undead army was a bad idea, but because it was hard to make sound in the adjacent world. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it. Apart from the queen and Caim and his sword, there were also all the fairyfolk present. They’d be the ones required to operate the exhumed corpses, which they’d be fine with, I was sure. They’d do what the queen told them, and she’d do what I told her. Everyone could blame someone else. I’d be blaming…
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We left the shop with a new look and a new outlook. The look was Vader-light, and the outlook was whatever lie I told them it was, but things were definitely moving in the right direction. I had also got myself some new togs, although the tailor had baulked a bit at my request, which he termed ‘unusual.’ I didn’t think it was so strange to have a parachute sewn into a jacket — although probably stranger in a world where parachutes hadn’t been invented yet. They already had flight so the…
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The carriage wasn’t the fanciest, but it was big and it had shutters on the windows so no one could see who was inside. It was painted red, or it had been before the paint had mostly flaked off, with a gold trim. And by gold, I mean yellow, by which I mean nicotine-ceiling white. “Ah think it’s really nice,” said Flossie as we stood outside checking it out. “Roomy.” You could have squeezed in ten or twelve people on the bench seats on either side (or six Flossies) and still stretch your legs.…
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When I say we all jumped on Caim, I mean me, Dudley and Flossie. They were the only ones who understood what it meant to bundle someone, a venerated English tradition. The British school system is a non-stop cavalcade of stamping on brand new white trainers, kicking away the feet of anyone leaning against a wall, and shoving them with someone crouching behind them. I think when it comes to understanding why kids are so cruel, people often forget how funny it is to be mean to someone for no reason. This…
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While it would have been interesting to see Joshaya face-off against the resurrected hero with the talking sword, it didn’t feel like the time and place for a duel to the death. Plus, it would have been messy and I would have been expected to help tidy up. Flossie and Dudley would have helped, too, but the thing with couples is, they seem to think a fair division of labour is they do half and you do half, but there’s fucking two of them so they should be doing 66%. You’re not a unit, you’re a…
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Guildleader Toniono was all smiles and hugs. He seemed like he would be glad to help assist us with anything we wanted, but first I’d have to get his attention, which was turning out to be a little tricky. “Guildleader, are you feeling alright?” I asked, bobbing my head around to try and keep in his line of sight. “Lovely,” he said in his gruff voice. He sounded like a market trader trying to tempt you with his juicy oranges and crisp apples. He winked at me. And then he licked his lips and…
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Grayson was starting to win me over. He was cold and dismissive, and he certainly had a very low opinion of me, but he was competent and willing to help. He could also very easily be working for any of the numerous parties trying to fuck me over, but fair play to him. If he was going to turn around at some point and stick the knife in, at least he was willing to speed things along. “There is a slight problem,” said Grayson. “You will need Guildleader Toniono’s cooperation. Without him, there is no…
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“I’d rather know why you guys sent Maurice,” I responded calmly. And then less calmly, “That and why the fuck are you in here when I’m trying to take a nice relaxing bath? Can’t I have one moment to myself without someone assuming it’s their turn to drive the last remnants of my sanity out of my head?” “Yo’ really aren’t interested in what Jenny’s been up to?” Flossie seemed disappointed, like her favourite soap on TV had been rescheduled because of a football match without…
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My own personal hero who would act on my commands had a certain appeal. Like a kid with a robot who could beat up anyone you pointed it at. Of course, eventually the kid would learn that beating people to death with a mech was wrong (and surprisingly messy), and then the robot would learn to smile or something. If this Caim chap was as awesome as Joshaya made out, with BiS gear and a legendary weapon, I would very happily give up my chance to claim honour on the battlefield (which I was totally planning…
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