Sophia Martin

Stories 11
Chapters 7,174
Words 1.1 M
Comments 0
Reading 3 days, 21 hours3 d, 21 h
  • Chapter 308 — How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis Cover
    by Sophia Martin I turned my head away from the bared breasts and checked for attacking monsters from behind. Of course, the one time I want to be attacked, nothing. “You have to look,” insisted Maurice. I looked him in the eyes. “No, not at me. At them.” “I don’t want to,” I said, and turned my attention to Dudley. He would understand. And he did. He was staring straight up at the ceiling. I joined him. “They’re just boobs,” said Flossie. “Look, Ah can make them dance.” I could sense her…
  • Chapter 307 — How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis Cover
    by Sophia Martin The Pope led us back towards the heart of the temple. He seemed very happy to do what I asked, which immediately made me suspicious. Nobody was ever happy to follow my orders. The Pope was merrily doing whatever I asked, the old gods had let me go with barely a how do you do. No one was this easy-going unless they were up to something. My general instinct was not to trust either of them, not to believe any explanations and to be super suspicious of every time they let me have my way. Not that my…
  • Chapter 306 — How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis Cover
    by Sophia Martin My insubstantial ghost body hung there, floating over the empty bed where my insubstantial real body should have been. I could still see the slight indentations where we’d been sitting. I hadn’t expected to come back to find my body missing. One of the advantages of this power (one of the few advantages) was that only I got to move around when it was active, usually. Not today. Someone had come in and picked up two life-sized mannequins and taken them away. It must have been a bit awkward. I had…
  • Chapter 305 — How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis Cover
    by Sophia Martin I left Jenny in younger me’s care, and returned to the small room where our bodies were frozen in place. I was sitting on the bed with my eyes closed. Jenny, topless, sat beside me, staring at my face. Objectively speaking, I don’t have an attractive face. It won’t make you throw up or anything, but I won’t be asked to model sunglasses any time soon. Sunglasses—another thing I needed to get Maurice to invent. What Jenny found so fascinating in me, I had no idea. It was flattering, of course,…
  • Chapter 304 — How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis Cover
    by Sophia Martin “Tell me what happened,” I said to Jenny. “You don’t want to fumble around some more?” she said very sweetly. Does wonders for the ego when your girlfriend describes the most passionate expression of your feelings as “No. But thank you. You woke up when you felt me dying...” I had the odd feeling she was trying to keep me distracted. What was she trying to hide? Silly questions, really. Probably a bunch of things. Must have been hard deciding what not to tell me first. Jenny sighed. “I…
  • Chapter 303 — How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis Cover
    by Sophia Martin The Pope was sitting on his throne, leaning a little to the side so that his elbow rested on one of the ornately carved armrests. Close up, it was obvious his luscious blond locks were a wig, and that he had a lot of makeup on. “You’re American?” I asked him. “You’re the one who came here with Peter and Zarigold?” The Pope pursed his lip as he looked me over. It was nothing I wasn’t used to. People judged me all the time, trying to work out how the hell I was still alive when so many better…
  • Chapter 302 — How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis Cover
    by Sophia Martin  How did we die? The when was pretty obvious, it had to be before the girls disappeared the first time. That was probably why they disappeared. We woke up, noticed the girls were missing, didn’t notice we were already deceased. Shows how messed up your priorities can get when you’re in a relationship. I feel I can’t really be blamed for the oversight as there were no injuries or obvious signs. We were a bit sluggish and found it hard to think clearly, but that was no different to any other…
  • Chapter 301 — How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis Cover
    by Sophia Martin The walls were thick, so the archway had some depth to it. You could see through it and yet have no indication of what was on the other side, apart from shadows. This was where Dudley’s second sight had faltered. Beyond was where the girls had gone. We were entering the realm of the Golden God, whoever the fuck that was. The two undead guards walked ahead of me in long, strong strides. I had to double-step to keep up. Stairs led us down. Torches flared brightly as a faint breeze caught their flames,…
  • Chapter 300 — How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis Cover
    by Sophia Martin The rush to get into the temple was like an irresistible tsunami. The men on the doors stood no chance, and their cries of protestation went unheard. The people had been waiting all morning and were in no mood to be reasonable or orderly. Had the temple officials bothered to come out and explain what was going on, maybe offered people complimentary refreshments and a free pope-on-a-rope for their kids to play with, perhaps things would have gone differently. There were only two men operating the door,…
  • Chapter 299 — How to Avoid Death on a Daily Basis Cover
    by Sophia Martin If you have a toaster that goes up to 6, you know you’re never going to use it above 4. The dial might accidentally get turned up high, but that means the toast is going straight in the bin. If you’re desperate (i.e. a student) you might scrape off the top layer of carcinogenic charcoal, but it’s a grim job most would rather avoid. The thing is, those high settings were put there for a reason. Toaster engineers aren’t dummies. They have degrees in science (and baking, presumably). They knew…
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