Sarah Johnson
Stories
11
Chapters
3,111
Words
590.9 K
Comments
0
Reading
2 d, 1 h
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Sheloran and Dwight sat on a log next to a stream. "I can't believe that this isn't "What do you mean it isn't real?" Dwight laughed as he idly munched on a carrot stick from their picnic basket loaded with choice produce. "We worked hard on this, dammit!" "Oh, sorry," Sheloran replied, a bit embarrassed, "I mean that it isn't natural." "Just giving you a hard time," Dwight replied as he nervously touched her shoulder and quickly withdrew his hand. "I know what you meant." She smiled at him nervously…-
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In a serene virtual room with serene white walls sat a virtual woman in a tight white dress… Who was NOT serene. She sat in her simulated office chair and glared at the smoke-filled screens in front of her. A small green-skinned humanoid wearing a white business suit appeared. “Ma’am,” the unusually well-dressed goblin said, “The fire has been extinguished.” “Thank you, Sweetroll,” Tartarus said with far more warmth than she was feeling. “How the fuck did that little idiot manage to…
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Sheloran rushed into the cargo hold of "Bunny?" she called out. "Yeah?" "Is Gloria around?" "Nah, she went out shopping about an hour ago," Bunny replied, "Did you have a nice date?" "It wasn't a date… um… I don't think it was…." Sheloran replied with increasing uncertainty, "It wasn't a date, right?" "You tell me," Bunny chuckled. Oh, it was definitely a date. "We just went out into the woods and looked at trees," Sheloran said nervously, "Nothing 'datey' happened." "You can go on a date…
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"You hang up..." "No, (giggle) you hang up!" "Sss…. No, I won'th! You hang up!" "For the love of GOD!" Agent Liang howled in agony, "Somebody please hang the Agent Vashtona snickered, her eyestalks waving furiously. "I didn't know you humans played the 'hang up game', too!" "Adult humans don't," Agent Liang snapped. "Goodnight, sweetie," Syd giggled over the speaker, "… you can hang up now." "Buth I don'th wanna," Jeruzz laughed, "you hang up!" "Do you think I pissed off someone at HQ?" Agent…
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Honx charged across an old, cracked asphalt parking lot, yoked to a sturdy cart. She grinned, her snoot waving happily. "Tank!" a group of people clad in grubby coveralls cheered as she, with a little difficulty, came to a stop. "Pthoo!" she snorted as she shrugged out of the makeshift harness and rolled her shoulders. She grinned again. "I fucking love this thing!" she said as she gave the cart a little tap with one of her hind legs. "I got everything!" "Awesome!" an overly thin grey-haired man…
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"Heyaw!" A burly man wearing ornate cowboy boots and sporting a huge holographic eagle tattoo. "Herz ta da nastiest pack of innies t' ha' ever "Wheeewwwwww!" the crowded bar yelled as everyone raised their drinks, either a mug filled with beer or a slightly smaller one filled with an odd shimmery clear liquid. Sheloran smiled and drank her mug of "void gin". She liked void gin very much! It was beyond yummy! She turned to Jessie. "Isn't 'innie' a bad word?" "Nah," Jessie grinned as she wiped some…
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Slightlyassholic was hard at work (honest), working on his latest masterpiece, when his screen went black. “ಠ_ಠ " “Hello?” he asked his screen. “Patreon?” Bunny’s voice asked sardonically, “Ko-fi? What the fuck, dude?” “It’s no big deal,” Slightly replied. “I just...” “You just sold us out, dickweed!” Bunny replied. “I’m not a sellout!” Slightly snapped. “People have asked how they could ‘support’ the project, and I thought...” “You thought you could…
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Hgedr gently brushed a thin blue substance on what appeared to be a small pinion rack and sighed happily through his four nostril slits. He was getting close to completing the lock, his favorite part of the process. Once the bluing had dried, he set it into place in a mechanism held in a delicate vise on his bench. He firmly passed the rack back and forth, allowing it to mesh with its pinion. He chuffed with satisfaction. It finally ran smoothly, and it felt near satisfactory. He removed it again, and…
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"This is Bannon Station," a female said in crisp, perfect Terran, "Be advised that you are within range of our weapons. State your business." "Hospitable cousin-fuckers aren't they?" Mike muttered from his station. Turns out that he had cross-trained in electronic warfare once he got out, a pleasant little surprise. The "Hey y'aw," Jessie, their resident MAGA whisperer, drawled happily, "Wedee "(sigh) Stand by for confirmation," the female said wearily. "… Identity and credentials confirmed.…
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"All hands stand by for re-entry to normal space," T'sunk'al said nonchalantly. Considering the risks of this jump, that was quite the accomplishment (or further proof of his insanity). "I don't know about 'normal'," Sheila scoffed as she strapped herself in. "Hey, be nice!" Jessie drawled as she hopped into her station on the bridge. "Jessie," Sheila faux-snarled, "I fucking "Sorry, ma'am!" Jessie bubbled as she strapped in. A few moments later, T’sunk’al announced, “Re-entry in 3… 2… 1……
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